Here are some more notes on INTJs in relationships and dating.

Some of the following information is borrowed from the INTJ forum, where nerds like me discuss the traits associated with the Myers-Briggs personality type Introverted-iNtuitive-Thinking-Judging (INTJ).

How does an INTJ show they care for or love someone?

Initially, INTJs act alternately friendly and distant, for no apparent reason. This is the stage where they recognize that you are appealing, but they are unable to step up to the plate.

If you display vulnerability, such as by telling stories about yourself that you would only share with someone you trust, and the INTJ responds in kind, they are hooked. Keep in mind that “In kind” for an INTJ means that they reveal one intimate thing about themselves for each 10 or so that you do.

INTJs will reveal some particularly geeky thing about themselves to you, to see your response. This is a test. To pass, you need to be totally casual about the information, and if possible, have your own silliness to toss out, or at least be able to say something to show that you are not going to run away from this weirdness.

INTJs will poke around tentatively trying to find out if you like them long before they will express any such feelings themselves.

They will create super-sized, super-capable, idealized images of you, leaving you at somewhat of a loss. The imaginary you is supposedly a very direct, very honest, very congruent, very dependable person.

They will spend countless hours explaining their highly ordered way of thinking and lines of logic to you, like, “I like you so much that I’ve actually granted you the temporary privilege to have a sneak-peak into the *real* world – MY world. P.S.: You can thank me later.”

They will flirt with all the people they do not care about, but will find it strangely impossible to flirt with you if they are attracted to you.

They will sit you down and put you through the long form Myers-Briggs test.

They will conduct research on the INTJ forum and/or other personality websites to learn how to best understand you.